Then we go home and the challenges of daily life too easily quench the fire that has been lit.
It has often been suggested that a good way to counteract this tendency would be for members of the ALL to meet with others occasionally from the area where they live. Such mutual support would help to nurture our individual and collective awakening in the midst of the world.
Linked to this is the desire to share with people outside the ALL the experience of lucid living and the ideas that underpin it – not in order to evangelise, but simply as an offering to those who might be interested.
Hesitancy has often been expressed, however, as to how such meetings might work and how they could be organised. The purpose of these notes is to overcome such hesitancy by providing some guidelines and thereby, hopefully, to encourage people to take the plunge.
The guidelines are based on a model of gradual development from the simple to the more complex that has proved successful in other areas. But they are just guidelines and written in case they are of help, not to be followed prescriptively. They assume little or no experience. Those with more background in this kind of activity may well prefer to do things their own way.
The guidelines assume that, to start with, meetings will be focussed around Tim Freke’s writings (particularly “Lucid Living”) and recorded talks. This will provide a consistent, shared base to work from. At a later stage, other writers and speakers may be used for inspiration and comparison. The ALL website will, in due course, develop a recommended list to assist with this.
Start Simple
The simpler something is, the more likely it is to start in the first place and then to flourish.
It is recommended that, initially, meetings should be limited to those who already have some familiarity with Tim’s writings and who, preferably, have attended one of his events. This sharing of common ground should make matters much easier. It will also encourage friendships to grow and enable support networks to develop.
Very importantly, regularly meeting with good friends to discuss the experience of lucid living, with all of its challenges and questions, will over time nurture confidence in speaking about these matters. This is important should the group ever decide to open its doors to a wider membership. It means that there is a core group who can support one another during this transformation.
This would not prevent new people joining from the locality who subsequently become interested in Tim’s work and wish to deepen their understanding. As groups are established, with their agreement, contact details will be given on the website. At this point, the ALL Administrator will feel free to refer people to local groups should the need arise.
There may come a point where those who attend decide, collectively, that they would like to invite others to come along who are unfamiliar with Tim’s writing. It is important that this happens at some point, as otherwise the group will lose its freshness and its ability to help people grow. But this is a significant development and the timing must be right.
Again, keep it simple. Start with people you know – family, friends, work acquaintances, etc, who you are aware are drawn to explore these kind of things. This is an easy and manageable next step. It not an attempt to convert anyone to anything – this would be the very antithesis of what awakening is about. It is an offer to a friend who you already know is interested in such questions.
After this, word of mouth and the website should be sufficient to enable a strong and active group to attract new members.
It is recommended that only a well established and confident group should consider opening its doors through public advertisement. This is a qualitative shift and can bring with it many challenges. It would be worthwhile consulting with the ALL Administrator before taking such a step.
At some point a local group may wish to promote a public talk by a prominent speaker associated with the ALL. Again, it would be good to seek the advice of the ALL Administrator before proceeding.
Venue
If possible, it is best (at least initially) to meet in someone’s home. This is simple, keeps the cost down and encourages a relaxed atmosphere. The venue must, however, be suitable. The room should be large enough so that people can sit comfortably where they can see everyone else and not be squashed in. Any refreshments provided should be simple and not place undue strain on the host.
If it is necessary to hire a larger venue, a good place to start looking is with the local Quakers or the Unitarian Church. Their fees are usually very reasonable and they are often keen to encourage and make contact with local spiritual groups.
Whatever arrangements are made, all costs must be shared.
Possible Outline of Meeting
It is recommended that the structured part of meetings should not last more than 1.5 hours. For evening gatherings, 8.00pm is a good start time as it allows people to get home from work and prepare themselves before attending. A 9.30 pm finish allows those with a heavy next day to get home reasonably early.
Refreshments are recommended at the beginning, as otherwise the host (if it is in someone’s home) is unable to relax afterwards and join in the more informal interaction that often occurs before people leave. It is good to have an agreed time by which everyone will have left, so that the host (and possibly his/her family) may have their home back at a reasonable hour.
· Arrival and welcome (cup of tea/coffee)
· 15 minutes shared silence; possibly introduced by a brief reading chosen by one of those present; possibly accompanied by quiet meditative music.
· Watch a DVD of a talk by Tim Freke or other relevant speaker, with a follow-up discussion; or discuss a chapter from “Lucid Living” or another appropriate text (see end of document for a short list of suitable resources.)
· 10 minutes of shared silence to end.
It is recommended that this outline (or something similar) is followed quite closely. Gatherings of ALL members have a particular purpose – to nurture awakened consciousness. A meeting conducted along these lines will be focussed on this aim. Experience suggests that such meetings (especially where there is no leader) can easily lose their original intent and become something else; for example, group therapy where everyone shares their problems. Other forms of meeting are valuable in their own right, but are for another time and place.
A variation to this outline might occur when a guest speaker is invited.
Facilitation and Leadership
From time to time it may be necessary for individuals to assume particular responsibilities within the group; for example, booking a venue or liaising with an invited speaker. Indeed, it is likely that a group will have started because one or two people took the initiative.
It is, of course, for group members to decide, but it is probably not desirable for a formal leader or leaders to be appointed. The principle of such meetings is that a group of free-thinking individuals have come together as equals to explore the mystery of lucid living, not to create new structures and hierarchies.
The experience of lack of structure and hierarchy, with any challenges it may present, is actually a wonderful learning opportunity.
Creative Tensions
With any group of people tensions may occur from time to time. This could arise from, for example, someone being regularly late and disturbing the opening time of stillness; a feeling that a particular individual is monopolising meetings; a sense that the group as a whole has lost its way, etc, etc.
Such tensions are natural. Nothing has gone wrong.
What matters is that situations like this are addressed openly and fully. If this fails to happen, people will start to drift away. What matters just as much is that this process happens from within awakened consciousness.
Lucid Living does not offer a “perfect world”. It offers a new, deeper way of being in the world through which we relate in a transformed way to whatever arises. Seen from this perspective, such tensions are a wonderful way to practice both waking up to oneness and celebrating separateness in a practical way – yielding fruit that we can share with the wider world.
It is not desirable for every meeting to consist of “moaning and complaining”. A good idea is to have a special gathering once a year (possibly while sharing a meal) where, after a deep time of stillness, gentle honesty is encouraged.
Money
Shared expenses will vary significantly between groups. Where a meeting is held in someone’s home, there may be little or none. If a meeting room is hired, collecting money will be essential.
It is recommended that where funds do need to be collected, a suggested donation is requested from each member. Hopefully, those who can afford it will put a little more in and those who cannot will feel able to contribute a little less. It is a good idea to have a box with a lid to collect the money, so that each person’s donation may be secret.
It is good to have a particular amount designated as the suggested donation. Experience indicates that where this does not happen, people are unclear as to how much is appropriate and insufficient money can be collected.
It should always be remembered that money is a particular area where unspoken “creative tensions” can arise.
If a guest speaker is invited as a minimum his/her expenses must be fully covered. Wherever possible, an appropriate fee should be offered. The ALL Administrator can advise on this if necessary.
If a meeting is open to the general public is organised, it is strongly recommended that a charge be levied. Considerable experience suggests that free meetings often attract people determined to promote their own agendas, whose presence can be disruptive and spoil the experience for genuine seekers. As soon as even a small charge is levied, such people quickly disappear. Also, people often have more psychological commitment to something that they have paid for. They value the experience, in the same way that each of us values a new item of clothing for which we have had to make a conscious decision to part with money.
Fail-safe
At the heart of these guidelines are two fundamental principles.
1. The purpose of such meetings is to explore and nurture lucid living.
2. If in doubt, keep it simple.
Always bearing these two foundations in mind should lead the way through any challenges that may arise.
Useful Resources for Meetings
1) Lucid Living (available from bookshops, The ALL, Amazon, etc)
2) Lucid Living CD (available from The ALL, Amazon, etc)
3) Waking Up CD (available from The ALL)
4) Tim Freke Standup Philosophy DVD (available from The ALL)
5) The Laughing Jesus by Tim Freke and Peter Gandy contains an Appendix called A Philosophical Workout, which offer guidance on many practical wake-up exercises, including the group communing exercise Tim leads at the end of all his seminars (available from bookshops, Amazon, The ALL, etc)